


Mending Fences

by frogslay



Series: Cana Shepard [4]
Category: Mass Effect
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-30
Updated: 2015-07-30
Packaged: 2018-04-12 00:35:28
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,401
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4458575
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/frogslay/pseuds/frogslay
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Cana's thoughts about her ex as time progresses through ME2 and the beginning of ME3.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Mending Fences

What could she say about Kaiden? He was an arrogant ass. Okay, maybe not so much arrogant, but she stood firmly behind the whole ass thing. Cana still thanked all the powers that may or may not be Garrus had been handy after Alenko’s tirade on Horizon. 

Everyone else had known her character enough to realize the Elusive Man could never put a collar on her. Kaidan of all people should have known. He had been her rock, her confidant through everything with Saren and the Reapers. He should have been the first to realize what she was doing. The bastard had walked away going on about having, “finally moved on,” and how he had prospects now.

Every fiber of her being still wanted to punch that unbelievable ass between the eyes. Garrus, bless him, had simply placed a hand on her shoulder, staring angrily at Kaidan’s back.

“He’s not worth it Shepard.”

Cana had remained silent, but the words tolled with undeniable truth. He was not now, and never had been worthy.

Part of her had held onto the hope that Alenko would never darken her threshold again, but deep in her soul she knew they would meet again. For some reason Anderson had seemed to think she would take interest in Kaidan’s rise through the ranks. There wasn’t a freighter big enough to ship the amount of fucks she did not give about him. Anderson’s opinion still mattered to her, so she diligently listened every time.

The convenient meeting in the halls came as no surprise at all. The good admiral had never been a subtle man. His idea of diplomacy seemed to consist of gentle words while holding the nukes at bay. 

Alenko’s eyes had roamed her body with a possessive gleam that had bile rising. His words slithered from his mouth, making her ears feel disgusting for having heard them. It may have been an exaggeration, but his presence just stirred such anger in her that she couldn’t help being unreasonable.

Her responses had been ice to his presumption. The only solace she took from it all was the fact she had a video chat scheduled that evening. Thane’s love would wash away the feeling of Kaidan’s eyes on her body.

At least that had been the plan. The room fell in around them as reapers made their move. Men and women had literally been sitting behind desks arguing their existence. Suddenly nothing else mattered. Alenko was just another soldier on the field, and humanity needed every body they could get.

She followed Andersons orders, ignoring the devastation until they were out of immediate danger. That was assuming they ever would be. When they finally reached the Normandy the relieved smile on Kaidan’s face contrasted so fully with the parasites destroying Earth she considered slapping it off. 

The Admiral refused to join them. The only one among them with any diplomatic experience was volunteering to die. There was nothing to smile about.

***

Cana watched as the nurses took Kaidan away for treatment. Everything on Mars had gone to hell so fast. The whole mission had boiled down to petty bickering, until she’d seen his head beating dents into the flaming Cerberus ship.

She couldn’t kill the bitch fast enough, and the cloud of bullshit parted. That man, flawed as he may be, still meant something to her. Not as he once had, but there was enough affection left in her to utter a few prayers to any God she could borrow that he pull through.

She had quickly fulfilled her bureaucratic duties at the Citadel in order to return. When the doors of Huerta Memorial slid open Thane had rushed to her side. Smooth, cool palms cupped her face to guide her into a light kiss. Lingering there, she allowed herself to feel the pulse in those lips. Her fingers clung desperately to the fabric of his coat, needing something solid to ground her.

“Siha.” He breathed as though the name alone gave him life.

She protested his withdrawal, but did not stop him.

“Something troubles you.”

“Someone was hurt on the mission.” Cana knew she had to tell him, but part of her worried about his reaction.

“You are holding back my love. Is there something you cannot tell me?” The hurt in his voice made the decision for her.

“It was Kaidan.” 

His body had stiffened, if only for the briefest moment. “Oh.” 

Sometime during their brief conversation his arms had settled around her shoulders. She found herself staring at them, anything but his face. “Cana, look at me.” Her eyes closed briefly, releasing a sigh to steel her resolve. When her eyes met his all she saw was concern. 

“His presence must have been trying for you, and this.” His hand swept in the direction of the operating rooms. “I know your love for me is true, but he was a part of your happiness once. That is not so easily forgotten, even for humans.”

Laughter bubbled from her as tears of relief were wiped from her cheeks. He kissed her forehead as though she were something so very precious, and held her as if he would never see her again. “I have missed you.”

She squeezed tighter. “Me too.”

They stood for what seemed like only a moment when his chuckle rumbled through her chest. “I believe Liara is worried about encroaching on our privacy. She has been shifting her feet impatiently. It seems important.”

“It must be about him.” Cana waved the Asari over.

“Shepard I’m so sorry, but I thought you would want to know when he was released from surgery. I know you two weren’t on good terms, but you’ve been so worried.” Liara rung her hands, glancing down.

“Thank you, Liara. I’m glad you told me.”

Having delivered her message Liara bowed out, returning to the information desk. Cana stared after her friend from their embrace for a long time.

“Go, speak with him.”

“But he’s likely still out cold.”

Cool fingers stroked her cheek. “Perhaps that is best for you.”

Reluctantly she left the circle of his arms making her way to the infirmary. The hiss of decontamination graced her ears and she was standing in front of his room. She stared at the door for a long time. He had been the bane of her existence for so long. For one event to completely destroy her perception of him all over again seemed wrong.

It was nothing he had done. Before she could have believed she hated him, and always would, but when that Cerberus “thing” had held him her blood had run cold. Nothing in this universe could have kept her from saving him. Instinct told what her mind would never acknowledge.

Stepping forward the doors opened revealing Kaidan’s battered and unconscious body. Cana stared at him deciding what to do.

“You broke me Alenko. You should have been the first to know Cerberus could never pin me down, but you were too full of yourself to see me. I should have seen it before, but maybe I was full of myself too.” Shepard adjusted her uniform, then coming to an at ease stance. 

“I can’t say I don’t care about you after today. You were once an important part of my life, but I too moved on. Maybe I have you to thank for that. You knew we were done, and I would have clung to the idea of us if you hadn’t said what you did. I found Thane, and he did what he could to heal the void you left behind. The only one who could make that completely right was you.” 

She tipped her head back, unable to look at him for the rest of what she had to say. “I don’t think I’ll ever be able to forget the hurt you dealt me on Horizon, but maybe I can forgive it. Just maybe we can be friends in time, but for now this… truce is all I can manage.”

Looking back down at the unconscious soldier, Cana reached out to lay a hand on his arm. “And you better damn well recover or I’ll kick your ass.”

Smiling she turned to the doors, unsurprised by Thane’s figure on the other side.

“Are you alright Shepard?”

Glancing back in the room she took the Drell’s arm. “Yeah, I think I will be.”

**Author's Note:**

> I had this mostly done for forever and I just couldn't figure out a good ending. It bothered me that it should be so simple, until it really was. I wrote it in one sitting almost verbatim. While I don't think I'll ever have what she's working toward, that's what fiction is for.


End file.
